How to be More Attractive to Women: the Lean Back

By Nick • October 24, 2007 • Filed in: Dating coach

Among social creatures in the animal kingdom, posturing is an effective means of communicating dominance, submission, and attraction. This is no different in human society. As social beings, people give off and pick up on body language cues from other individuals. The process of communicating through posturing is so instinctual that we don’t even think about it. Body language is very important when it comes to communicating with women. They are wired to notice - if only subconsciously - a person’s posture and correctly interpret the messages being sent. As men, we need to recognize this and keep it in mind while cruising the dating scene. Giving off certain signals can greatly increase your attractiveness to the opposite sex.

When talking to a woman for the first time, you must let her know that you are confident and strong. Beautiful women don’t go for needy guys. They want a man who doesn’t need their validation in order to be happy. Since it would really kill the mood to come right out and say “I’m strong and I don’t need you, baby,” it’s best to use body language in order to demonstrate your confidence.

You can do this with a simple move called “The Lean Back.” During that all-important first conversation, if you are seated, casually lean away from the woman as you talk to her. According to dating expert Carlos Xuma, this is the posturing of an alpha man. It puts you in the dominant position. This is the same posture used by judges and kings as they sit back in thier impressive chairs, surveying the crowd below. It conveys authority and power. A woman will pick up on this immediately and respond by leaning towards you. This puts her in the submissive position. From there, just work your magic. Carry on a pleasant conversation, smile, and be fun.

If things go well, and she starts showing genuine interest in you by flirting with her eyes or moving closer to you, make your next move. Lean in to her. Don’t get so close that you seem clingy or lose your alpha posture. Move in just enough to show that you’re interested in her, too. Continue chatting and watch her body language. If she keeps leaning closer and closer in to you, respond in kind, always retaining your dominant position. This shows that you’re ready to take it to the next level. Play your cards right, and maybe she will be too.